God’s Promises
Well, it’s been a LONG time since my last post. It has been a very rough road for us, grieving for our son. It has taught me much about myself, and my faith. My faith isn’t something I often address, but I felt strongly to post about this tonight, so here it is… Josh and I are going through the classes to be foster parents. The one thing everyone is cautioning me about is not to foster unless we can keep the kids because we will become attached. I, too, thought this was sound advice when looking at foster care from my perspective. I, however, have had my heart prepared and my eyes opened. My perspective has changed. This is NOT about me! I HOPE I get attached! These are kids coming from broken homes who have had little or no consistency in their lives! EVER! They are kids who never get touched or hugged or told how much they are loved. They have no security. If I can do that for a child, no matter how long that child is mine, it is worth the heartache I go through.
I sat here tonight thinking about the fact that my son or daughter is probably out there right now. He could be going to bed hungry, not having eaten for a week. She could be being beaten or hurt. She could be sleeping in a park somewhere, cold and afraid. I sat here tonight thinking about these things in my nice, warm home and I felt ashamed for thinking about going through adoption and not getting ‘attached’. This is not about me. I am an adult, I have therapy and coping methods that will get me through, just like I got through losing Oliver. My kids don’t have those methods… yet. So I sat here tonight and all I have is to pray that God will keep my children safe. I don’t know where they are, or who they are, but He does. That’s where I am taking my comfort. If the time comes when my children are re-unified with their bio- parents, I will wonder every night if they are warm, safe, full, and happy. I will take my comfort in God’s promises for orphans and their caregivers:
-Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.
Psalms 68:5-6
-And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.
Matthew 18:5
-Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.
Proverbs 31:8-9
-In you the orphan finds mercy.
Hosea 14:3
-Never take advantage of any widow or orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, you can be sure that I will hear their cry.
Exodus 22:22-23
February 2nd, 2010 at 5:34 am
Amen!
You might want to re-read “The Purpose Driven Life” while you are finishing your classes–it’s 40 days, which is about how much longer you have, and the themes you are talking about in your blog are encouraged and explored in there.
And on that note, I know you are preparing yourself for the mental, emotional, financial, and physical strain, but don’t forget the spiritual. You’ll have a little boy or girl who needs to know Jesus–and you may be the only chance he/she gets. Make sure you are situated in a church so that from day one, any child with you will have a church home to love him/her, too. He/She will need Jesus’ love as much as yours and as much as food and clothes. If the child does leave you to go back with bio parents, those are seeds that he/she will take back that will bloom for the rest of their lives.
We’ll continue praying for you on your journey. I know you are on the right track, because you can never go wrong loving others in the name of Jesus. That’s always God’s will.
February 2nd, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Thanks Tan! Yes, finding a long term church is our current priority. I am calling around this week to find out the screening process for nursery workers, and that will cut back our list of eligible churches somewhat. then we’ll ’shop’ and choose. It will be nice to have a settled church home before our home study so we can give an accurate portrayal of what a week with us will be like!
February 22nd, 2010 at 6:58 am
it’s funnhy–the girls *just* asked me last night, “Do Mandy and Josh have a church home?” I laughed because I am not sure where that came from! When you settle somewhere, let us know and we’d like to come visit with you there. It would be good for the girls to see where you go. Unfortionately, they literally have no family that goes to church regularly (except extended family they barely know).
February 22nd, 2010 at 10:45 pm
That’s funny… yes, let them know that we are looking and visiting! In fact I should write a blog about that after I’ve visited them all. And we would LOVE to have you guys over for church!